And no, before you ask, I didn’t mention God Metaphor to anyone there; although YOU can see what one reviewer thought of it here! I also didn’t choose this because I felt it was a fairly accurate review of what I was, at least, trying to say, but because it’s the only review the eBook has recieved, to my knowledge.
You see, my girlfriend dragged me to the wedding of a friend of hers. I didn’t really want to go, because I’m miserable and didn’t know anyone else going anyway, but if it means I get to spend time with her I’d pretend to be interested in any asinine ceremony she wants.
It was at a church, which I wasn’t happy with; it was a Baptist church, which I was even less happy with; the couple getting married are extremely religious, which made me genuinely angry; there was a pastor who talked out of his arse (unsurprisingly) and the Groom had to thank God for his ‘divine plan’ a few hundred times during his speech. There was also, due to some imbecilic design, a preacher there. Well, his business card called him an Evangelist, but he was a preacher.
He made a very impassioned speech, about how the media was controlled by Atheists (and the petulant spite he put into his voice was so unbelievably Christian that I was actually impressed) and how it had turned people’s eyes away from the one true god and all that kind of rubbish. He made the argument that, because the universe is so big, we can’t prove that God doesn’t exist. He made a few stupid comments about Rolls Royce’s mechanic policy and how an aboriginal Head-hunter wouldn’t understand surgery. In short, he was a moron.
But he challenged any non-believers in the room to question his beliefs. My girlfriend wouldn’t let me talk to him, and even stopped me from speaking to the pastor, except for one awkward moment in the men’s bathrooms, for fear that I’d call them retarded, delusional, a stain upon humanity, not even human at all or make some other, highly accurate, statement.
But I was good, didn’t start any fights at all. What I did do, however, was take a copy of the book the Preacher was pushing on us ‘non-believers’, that he said would convince us of God’s existence, and how Christianity was the one true faith and some other meaningless jargon that those mental-rapists have conjured up over their twenty centuries of denying reason.
So, now, I have a Christian book entitled ‘Before you say ‘I Don’t Believe’’ which I am going to start reading tonight. However, the chapters of this book are questions which the writer would demand an answer from the reader, so I’m going to write down a few notes to each question before I read the thing and formulate my own answers to his questions.
You never know, I might abandon reason and logic and humanity tonight; I might exchange it all, sacrifice it on the altar of nonsense. If this man, this Roger Carswell, can convince me that there is even the slightest possibility of his God existing, I already know what my answer will be; but if he can convince me that creature was worthy of worship, then I will be fantastically astounded.
Also, I kept the hymn sheet; expect to see some stuff done with that, shortly. Nothing TOO offensive, I promise you, I don’t intend to burn it or use it as toilet paper, for all that the words on it are amongst the foulest things in the English Language.
Vitriol, right, I’ll tone it down.