So, yeah, I’m breaking my own rule for the fourth time – anyway, it wasn’t so much a rule as a guideline; this is a little more than one paragraph but, the way I see it, they are fairly small paragraphs, so it’s fine.
I emptied my bladder into a toilet bowl, trying to mute the sound of liquid on liquid by aiming into the bowl’s curvature. It didn’t work, it never worked, but, once all the comforts and delusions had been stripped away, it was what separated a civilised man from the beasts of field; a desire to piss in silence. I liked cubicles, not for the security they offered over the urinal, but for the graffiti which seemed to grow within them like mould. It was rare that they had the intricacy of that which grew on the walls of cities, where religious leaders must look for guidance, but the rushed simplicity of their composition could be equally as beautiful.
On my right, in an illegible, tightly-scrawled hand, some great monologue had been written and, as I strained my eyes to make sense of the black marker’s fluid lines, I managed to decipher the occasional word but soon gave up. For all I knew, it could have been a modern bible, a metaphor which screamed the benefits of morality of humanity, but it may as well have been written in Arabic for all the sense I could make of it. It looked wet, and I rubbed my thumb over it once I’d given up trying to comprehend the thing. Nothing came away on my flesh and I considering spitting at it and blurring those lines into ultimate incomprehensibility, but I didn’t.
The left hand wall was occupied entirely by a drawing of a penis, the cartoon kind that resembles a bulbous rocket-ship. The blank space in the centre was occupied by an unbelievably intricate series of Celtic swirls, like those on the arms of jocks and the unimaginative, but done with such a skill that my head began to hurt after trying to trace the lines from the head, down the shaft and into the bollocks. It was a curving, intersecting, thorned madness which must have taken several trips, or one painful bout of food poisoning, for the artist to complete.